posted by David Suroviec at 7:41 PM
I'm not sure what's going to be happening during the first hold, but it feels a little long for anything short of advancing the story. the impact looks okay, but the camera shake is way to slow, it needs to really rattle (I'm not sure if that's been timed at all yet). afterwards, I feel like you've got the right amount of time before Mrs. F's reapearance, but you could maybe spend it better. because she flew off screen left we'll be expecting her to come back from there. because she comes back from screen center it throws me quite a bit -- I feel very dissoriented because we can see so much space to chloe's screen left, it doesn't make sense that she could sneak by us so easily. I'd think of having her poke her head in from screen right, as though she's circled around the scene and is coming in to flank chloe. so she'd bob her head in cautiously from the edge of the screen, as though the frame border were a tree she's hiding behind, and then pulls back only to reemerge where she is in this pass, behind chloe. I wouldn't make the shot any longer to accomodate this, I'd just have less pause before her reapearance and then a somewhat faster rise from behind chloe at the end.
also, what is a "y'inz?"
y'inz is the pittsburg version of y'all
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